Any sufficiently advanced incompetence is indistinguishable from malice
Avedon Carol, quoting ‘Mr. Sideshow’.
2005-09-05 13:03:56 | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Meta::Motto
Sincerity is not enough
This is hardly new, but I just ran into it again.
We are Unitarian Jihad, and our motto is: “Sincerity is not enough.” We have heard from enough sincere people to last a lifetime already. Just because you believe it’s true doesn’t make it true. Just because your motives are pure doesn’t mean you are not doing harm. Get a dog, or comfort someone in a nursing home, or just feed the birds in the park. Play basketball. Lighten up. The world is not out to get you, except in the sense that the world is out to get everyone.
2005-06-03 14:38:52 | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Meta::Motto
Iris and I must ride the Ferris wheel
2005-03-27 21:30:00 | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Meta::Motto
You know, there are worse ways to go, but I can't think of a more undignified one than auto-erotic asphyxiation.
So says Clyde Bruckman.
2003-11-22 20:05:00 | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Meta::Motto
So, who saw the gorilla?
Setting: a room of about 200-300 smart observant people; on the screen in front of them, a still frame of a movie showing six people standing in a dormitory-looking hallway in front of an elevator; three of the people wearing white shirts, three wearing black. The announcer explains that it's very important that we count how many times the people in white pass a ball fron one person to another, goes over this a few times to make sure we understand just how important it is. Then he plays the movie.
The movie's maybe 10-15 seconds long. The six people move around, in front of and behind one another; both black-shirted and white-shirted people are passing balls, and of course we're just counting the white-shirted folks. When the movie ends, a survey is done on how many ball passes there were. Answers ranged from 13 to 15.
Then, the announcer says, "So, who saw the gorilla?", and starts the movie again. This time, just watching the movie rather than focussed on counting, lo and behold -- a man in a fucking GORILLA suit saunters into the frame from the right, walks right through the group of people, right in front of our eyes, and out the left side of the frame. He was right there in front of us, we were all paying attention, we all must have seen him, and yet not a single one of us noticed him.
It is possible to not see a gorilla right in front of you.
2003-11-12 17:14:00 | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0) | Meta::Motto
John Todd Larason, an unmarried man
That's what the official Papers from the Fidelity National Title Company of Oregon call me.
2003-10-02 17:20:00 | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Meta::Motto
Evil reptilian kitten-eater from another planet since 1972
The increasingly bitter tone of the Ontario campaign took a surreal turn Friday when a press release from the Tory election machine labelled Liberal Leader Dalton McGuinty a pet-eating alien.
The bizarre insult, contained in a statement e-mailed to media representatives shortly before lunchtime, immediately deflected attention from the health-care agenda that the Conservatives had hoped to pitch Friday.
"Dalton McGuinty," the statement said. "He's an evil reptilian kitten-eater from another planet."
Conservative Leader Ernie Eves blamed the release on a staffer who apparently "had too much coffee this morning ... too much time."
But he refused to retract the statement.
2003-09-15 17:56:00 | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0) | Meta::Motto
My car is ugly, but then I'm ugly too
"The Luckiest Guy on the Lower East Side", The Magnetic Fields
Andy would bicycle across town in the rain to bring you candy,
and John would buy the gown for you to wear to the prom
with Tom the astronomer who'd name a star for you,
but I'm the luckiest guy on the Lower East Side,
cause I've got wheels and you want to go for a ride.
Harry is the one I think you'll marry,
but it's Chris that you kissed after school.
Well I'm a fool, there's no doubt,
but when the sun comes out,
and only when the sun comes out,
I'm the luckiest guy on the Lower East Side,
cause I've got wheels and you want to go for a ride.
The day is beautiful and so are you.
My car is ugly, but then I'm ugly too.
I know you'd never give me a second glance,
but when the weather's nice,
all the other guys don't stand a chance.
I know Professor Blumen makes you feel like a woman,
but when the wind is in your hair you laugh like a little girl.
So you share secrets with Lou,
but we've got secrets too -- well, one:
I only keep this heap for you,
cause I'm the ugliest guy on the Lower East Side,
but I've got wheels and you want to go for a ride.
Want to go for a ride?
Want to go for a ride?
Want to go for a ride?
2003-08-19 10:18:00 | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Meta::Motto
tends to be NSFW, though tastefully so - your boss will admire your sophistication as he fires you in accordance with HR policy
Or so Maciej Stachowiak says.
2003-08-04 07:22:00 | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0) | Meta::Motto
It is well known a fact that a great number of cultural treasures of the Korean nation are on display at most of museums and galleries in the United States.
U.S. imperialists' looting of Korean national treasures
Pyongyang, July 22 (KCNA) -- Recorded in the U.S. imperialists' 100-odd-year-long history of aggression on Korea are evidences of their looting of cultural treasures. Even after the liberation of Korea on August 15, 1945 they took away a large number of treasures from South Korea.
Gregory Henderson, an official of the U.S. embassy in Seoul, took many pieces of historic relics to the United States from South Korea in seven years from Juche 37 (1948).
At Ohio State University in 1969 he exhibited 143 pieces of relics including those dating back to the 12th century and the 18th century. The U.S. imperialists robbed a museum in Seoul of even a gold crown of the Silla era in the spring of 1949.
During the Korean War (June 1950-July 1953), they bombed many cultural relics and remains and took away more than 6,700 pieces from the northern half of Korea, 1,200 pieces from the Kyongbok Palace Museum in Seoul, and 6,000 pieces from the Toksu Palace gallery, over 14,500 pieces in all.
After the war they have continued destroying and looting valuable cultural relics and remains in South Korea.
It is well known a fact that a great number of cultural treasures of the Korean nation are on display at most of museums and galleries in the United States.
2003-07-23 09:58:00 | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Meta::Motto
You're probably a dentist — some kind of weird boob dentist.
I don't know if this is a joke or real. If it's a joke, then you'll have a lot of explaining to do when the CIA gets a hold of you. You can't just be confusing people like this with terrorists on the loose. My neighbors friend was in tower two. Get it? I bet you think that's funny too, you stupid asshole. The first amendment allows too many people like you to say anything they want, even if it's garbage. I can't ever walk outside without some type of muslim parade. Free speech isn't for everyone, especially if they're liars like you. BUT if this is for real. You don't know anything about science. You're probably not ever a doctore. And if you are, you're probably a dentist--some kind of weird boob dentist.
2003-07-17 07:12:00 | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Meta::Motto
Just because the wrong people say it for the wrong reasons doen't make it untrue
I used to follow the party line and think that Mugabe and his associates were at least talking about real issues, with a real interest in confronting fundamental problems. I have to say, looking back, that I was wrong not just in terms of their later conduct, but in overlooking the clear, unambiguous signs of Mugabe's political character right from the moment of his assumption of power and even long before it. He and his coterie have always been authoritarians and brutalists. It is just that we used to excuse that because of the exigencies of the "liberation struggle", or to attribute stories of their conduct to Rhodesian propaganda. There was certainly plenty of that, to be sure, but just because the wrong people say it for the wrong reasons doesn't make it untrue.
2003-07-13 08:21:00 | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Meta::Motto
In a film she once saw a girl was fucked by a dog so she went to the petstore but felt stupid and came home with a goldfish in a plastic bag.
"No More Lonely Nights" from No Talking Just Head.
Two love stories
She installed a video camera over her bed in the bedroom.
No more lonely nights.
In a film she once saw, a girl was fucked by a dog, so she went to the pet store, but felt stupid, and came home with a goldfish in a plastic bag. The fish's name is 'Superman'. He would circle the bowl world in five minutes.
No more lonely nights
No more lonely nights
No more lonely nights
No more lonely nights
This is two love stories
She goes to bed with a lipstick and a box of chocolate. She read in a book once that chocolate was good both in you and on you for sexual pleasure. Superman watches glossy-eyed, camera staring mute, blinking encouragingly down at the big bed where she has fallen asleep, fingers smeared with 'Kissing Red' and melted chocolate, Superman and the remote control still in a cramped grip.
No more lonely nights
No more lonely nights
No more lonely nights
No more lonely nights
Two love stories
For your birthday I'll give you scissors -- shining, silver, sharp! -- to cut me open and step right in. You know I am hot enough to keep you warm when winter comes. Oh, it would suit you good, it would do you good. You can do it, you've done it before. Take my milky white and make yourself a coat. Cut me open and step right in. I'm sick of being without you. Believe me, the pain means nothing.
No more lonely nights
No more lonely nights
No more lonely nights
No more lonely nights
Two love stories
Infected by your tongue when kissing, the I.V. love shock that took me for a ride never ending. I guess I should have known that needle'd been around. The disease of loving you spread fast through the blood. I lost everything I had for you. I lost everything I was for you. I used to have a language. I used to have a name. I used to have a name.
No more lonely nights
Now I have yours
No more lonely nights
Snakebite
No more lonely nights
Stabbing
No more lonely nights
Sex
I wanted to tell two love stories
One would be the story
The other
Would be the story
About love.
2003-06-29 18:40:00 | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0) | Meta::Motto
The further I get from the things that I care about, the less I care about how much further away I get
The Cure, "Fear of Ghosts"
Like a feeling that I'm
down deep inside my heart
Like I'm looking out through
Splitting blood red
Windows in my heart
From a higher up than heaven
And a harder down than stone
Shake the fear that always clawing
Pulls me clawing down alone
As I spitting splitting blood red
Breaking windows in my heart
And the past is taunting
Fear of ghosts
Is forcing me apart
And the further I get
From the things that I care about
The less I care about
How much further away I get...
And the further I get
From the things that I care about
The less I care about
How much further away I get...
I am lost again
With everything gone
And more alone
Than I have ever been
I expect you to understand
To feel it too
But I know that even if you will
You cannot ever help me
Nor can I
Ever help you
2003-06-22 00:36:00 | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Meta::Motto
It's disturbing too see our teachers in strange positions with no clothes on.
2003-06-19 00:24:00 | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Meta::Motto
Am currently looking for people who are into pony-play, robot sex, watersports, infantilism, crush fetishes, household appliances, fruit and veg, bestiality, animal transformation, modern primitivism and shagging dwarves. Sometimes I wonder about my job...
Dubberly is, that is:
Monday was my screen test for Endemol. I was bricking it after my previous moving around like a loon TV thing. Seemed to go reasonably well though; they said I was 'a natural'. Then again, it could be that they were just being nice cos I've been helping them out on research. Am currently looking for people who are into pony-play, robot sex, watersports, infantilism, crush fetishes, household appliances, fruit and veg, bestiality, animal transformation, modern primitivism and shagging dwarves. Sometimes I wonder about my job...
2003-06-15 11:19:00 | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Meta::Motto
The Boy's clocked more fieldtime than all of you combined
A transcript doesn't do justice; you need to hear the inflection of "The Boy" for full effect.
(Thanks to Mary-Suzanne Lavinia Milosovici nude non-King Lamkins for the link)
2003-06-14 03:45:00 | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Meta::Motto
I think we're all posthumans on this bus.
2003-06-04 22:05:00 | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Meta::Motto
Ruining it for the Rest of You since 1972
2003-05-27 22:21:00 | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Meta::Motto
Men are just horny little mutts. You feed them, you cuddle them, you pat them on the head and tie them to trees.
In my adolescence (and truthfully, throughout my life) I have always had difficulty making female friends. The guys I had covered. Guys are easy. They don't plot. They don't catfight. They rarely make the effort to betray intentionally. Men are just horny little mutts. You feed them, you cuddle them, you pat them on the head and tie them to trees. They're relatively simple. But, relationships between women are multi-leveled and complicated. It is work. And, for the most part, I just don't understand most women. I love the women friends I have, but they are far outnumbered by my men friends.
2003-05-27 12:22:00 | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Meta::Motto
Great Big Blaze of Glory
Oh, glorious Spike, you done yourself proud.
2003-05-21 06:53:00 | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Meta::Motto
Walking to create a hazard since 1972
It'd apparently illegal to get run over by the FBI. No, I didn't phrase that backwards.
2003-05-21 06:53:00 | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Meta::Motto
First theres the woman. Then theres fire. Then bonking bonking bonking.
2003-05-21 06:53:00 | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Meta::Motto
We're doomed to DRM hell.
Nelson Minar says so
2003-05-21 06:53:00 | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Meta::Motto
A pretty girl in her underwear — if there's anything better in this world, who cares?
2003-05-21 06:52:00 | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Meta::Motto
You can skip this step if you do not want to bake a cake before reading this
2003-05-21 06:52:00 | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Meta::Motto
A pretty boy in his underwear — if there's a better reason to jump for joy, who cares?
2003-05-21 06:52:00 | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Meta::Motto
The Marinaford Report
2003-05-21 06:51:00 | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Meta::Motto
Like a neighborhood park all covered with cheese.
2003-05-21 06:51:00 | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Meta::Motto
It's like riding a biker.
So says Faith, in "Salvage".
2003-05-21 06:51:00 | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Meta::Motto
Every little girl needs a monkey in her room.
2003-05-21 06:51:00 | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Meta::Motto
Noses are not for eating.
Ripper had, for a while, a rather painful infatuation with my nose.
2003-05-21 06:51:00 | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Meta::Motto
Jesus died for somebody's sins, but not mine
Patti Smith, "Gloria"
2003-05-20 00:00:00 | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Meta::Motto
